Transcript from Salem Crier staff reporter, Scott Lumley’s, interview with Rex Bana. Special-interest article slated for possible publication in early December, 1999. Tie in 1974-75 Crier articles relating to the Napier Road Killer, the Sara Bana murder case, and subsequent articles regarding Rex Bana’s murder investigations from 1990-1995.

Crier: “Thank you for agreeing to this interview, Rex. This must be a difficult time, considering your grandfather’s funeral was just yesterday.”

Rex: “Thanks. Actually, it’s a relief to get away from the house. I dearly loved Migisi, but all the people that came for the funeral are driving me freakin’ nuts. Besides, death and funerals have always given me the willies.”

Crier: “Really? I would’ve thought you’d become accustomed to dealing with death. You’re internationally famous for hunting and killing murderers. … Did you just growl at me?”

Rex: “That subject’s off limits. And if that’s what this is all about, I’ll save us both the time and leave now.”

Crier: “But you must realize you’ve been somewhat of a celebrity in our tiny community ever since you killed Deputy Madison after he raped and murdered your sister. How old were you then, thirteen?”

Rex: “You know damn well how old I was, Scott. We were freakin’ classmates during Madison’s murder spree. I won’t discuss that period in my life.”

Crier: “Isn’t the murder of your sister, Sara, what led you to become a Michigan State Trooper before you moved on to being a vigilante-style hunter of serial killers?”

Rex: “Ya know, Scott, you’ve been an asshole ever since we were kids. You’re determined to stick your big freakin’ nose where it doesn’t belong just to get a juicy story. Well, I’m going to give you your scoop. Otherwise, I’m sure you’ll manufacture something. But I guarantee that if you misquote me, or twist my words around, I’ll sue your crappy little paper, and see to it that you can’t get a job cleaning toilets around here. Do I make myself clear?”

Crier: (Response too low to transcribe.)

Rex: “Good. Yes, I do, did, hunt murderers, but never with the intention of killing them. And never in some illegal vigilante style of justice. I’ve always worked in close cooperation with the authorities—usually at their invitation. I seek justice for the murder victims, and try to save the lives of future victims. Once a serial murderer starts killing, he rarely stops on his own. It’s only when my life, or someone else’s life, has been in immediate danger that I’ve had to defend myself. And I don’t shoot to wound when lives are on the line. Yes, I’ve killed murderers.”

Crier: “But how can you be so sure that the so-called murderers you’ve killed are guilty of any crimes? Very few of your victims have survived to go on trial. It’s seems like you appoint yourself judge and executioner. I’ll point to the 1995 case of Norman Lipshitz as an example. The police later claimed they didn’t have enough evidence to arrest Lipshitz before you joined the case. Yet you burned down his house, and then killed him even after the he’d been taken into custody. What’re you laughing at?”

Rex: “’Cause I can see why you’re still writing human-interest articles in a rural Michigan town. You should stick to covering bake sales and the Friday night bingo games. You have your facts all screwed up, dipshit. Good ole Stormin’ Norman Lipshitz had already murdered his parents, and was suspected of killing four young gay men in Kalamazoo, by the time I was invited to work the case by the Michigan State Police. Then, when Lipshitz learned the police had a warrant to search his house, he drove his beat-ta-shit Buick through his parlor and started the house on fire to destroy any evidence inside. And Normy was far from innocent. There were two decomposing corpses propped up on his parlor couch. I know because I was sitting between them when Norman started shooting at me. If the bodies in his house weren’t enough to at least question his innocence, he shot and killed a volunteer fireman that had responded to the fire. That makes him a murderer in any book. But you’re right about one thing. I did kill the bastard after he’d been arrested. You just forgot to mention that Lipshitz had wrestled a handgun away from one officer, shot another officer in the foot, and then took a shot at me that grazed my scalp. Sorry if it wounds your bleeding heart, but I don’t give armed murderers at second chance to kill me or someone else. I blew his sick brains out the backside of his skull. You can call that any kind of justice you want, but at least get your freakin’ facts straight.”

Crier: “Didn’t you collect a handsome reward for killing Norman Lipshitz? Some would question your real motives. Some might even say you profit from the misery of others. You know, making rude hand gestures at me seems highly unprofessional and childish.”

Rex: “Screw you, Scotty. Yes, I collect the reward money on the cases where it’s offered, but I would have done them for free. After Sara was murdered, I dedicated my life to saving the lives of innocent victims by hunting down murderers before they can kill again. But murder investigations take long hours of hard, often life-threatening work. And that shit costs money. Sure, some uninformed dweebs like yourself think I profit from the misery of others. But let me ask you this. Have any of your close family members been savagely murdered? Have you ever even interviewed the family of a murder victim? Do you have any concept of the survivors’ emotional pain? Of their desperate desire for justice and revenge? Huh?”

Crier: “I know the survivors’ pain. My father died of cancer a couple years back. I miss him daily.”

Rex: “Oh, quit your whining, ya pantywaist. Most of us know the pain of losing a loved one to illness. Death craves us all. But I’m talking about the agony of knowing one’s child or sibling has had their life violently and senselessly torn from them by an insane murderer. That kind of pain is a thousand times worse than the anticipated, even planned for, passing of a parent. Here’s my point. If you could give reward money to the researcher who cured cancer—so no one ever got cancer again, and no family ever experienced your pain—would you reward that researcher? Well, you probably wouldn’t. I remember you wouldn’t even share a Twinkie during lunch in grade school. But most survivors of murder victims would gladly part with their life savings, even their own lives, to see those murderers brought to justice. I only take what’s gladly given by grateful people and organizations that want an end to one of society’s evils.”

Crier: “Doesn’t it bother you spiritually to take the life on another person? Doesn’t killing a man—even a murderer—make you a murderer as well?”

Rex: “No, I’m not bothered spiritually. I’ve seen just about every evil one person can inflict upon another. That doesn’t leave a lot of room for spirituality in a religious sense. But I do place tremendous value on human life. That’s what got me into this business to begin with. And yes, it does bother me a great deal when I must kill a murderer to defend myself. I’ve spent many sleepless nights wondering that exact question. Am I no better than the murderers I’ve killed? Answering that question was what led me to get out of the business.”

Crier; “So you’re saying you feel remorse or guilt for killing men who are possibly innocent?”

Rex: “There ya go trying to twist my words. I hear you’re still unmarried, and you had to move back home with your mommy. No, I don’t feel guilty about killing murderers. Haven’t you been listening? I’ve never killed a man, except in self-defense. I’m glad I’m alive and they’re not. And I’ve never worked a case unless there was some pretty damn good evidence proving that those I’ve killed were murderers. But the question that kept nagging me was if that was all there was to my life. Could I be a creator of life, rather than being constantly surrounded by killing and death? An opportunity arose shortly after the Lipshitz case that answered many of my questions and changed my life forever.”

Crier: “What happened? Word around here was that you screwed up the Lipshitz case so badly that you had to disappear and go into hiding.”

Rex: “Oh, good one, Sherlock. That’s why I’m here now. I want to give you my exclusive story before turning myself over to the authorities and frying in the electric chair. Did you do any background work at all to prepare for this interview? You’re redder-than-normal cheeks say that you didn’t.

“I hardly disappeared, ya numbnuts. When I got home from the Lipshitz case, I got a call from an old friend, Joe Tweedy. At the time, Joe was a deputy with the Maui County Sheriff’s Department. He wanted some assistance finding a possible serial killer on Maui. So I didn’t disappear. I just went to help a friend in need. What happened on that case isn’t important, except to say that I met and fell in love with Maui’s medical examiner, Dr. Jessica Achew. I also renewed my relationships with some old friends on Maui. Years before, Joe and I, along with some anonymous investors, had established a home for abused women and children called Sara’s Garden. One of these investors turned out to be the former medical examiner, Dr. James Cook. My love for Jesse, and some persuasive arguments from Dr. Cook, convinced me that there were less life-threatening ways to help innocent victims of life’s evils. So, after marrying Jesse, I moved to Maui, and became the director of new, much larger, Sara’s Garden. Now I help protect the lives of abused women and children.”

Crier: “So your lust for killing murderers is satisfied? You’re finally at peace with yourself?”

Rex: “Watch it, shit-for-brains! I will not be judged, or called a blood-thirsty murderer, by some momma’s boy with man boobs whose biggest decision today was whether to have that third jelly-filled doughnut for breakfast. There is no peace in the war against senseless violence and crime. The innocent will always need protected, because there will always be sick and evil people who abuse them. My devotion to being their protector will never waiver.

“That said, my methods and lifestyle have changed. Now I’m responsible for the lives of my family and all the abused women and children that pass through Sara’s Garden. I’m no longer a loner. But even with these additional responsibilities, I still occasionally act as a consultant for the Maui County Sheriff’s Department on particularly difficult murder cases. So you might say I still dabble in murder investigations.”

Crier: “I can’t see a man of your experience and passion just dabbling. Can you give our readers an example of any recent murder investigations you’ve worked on?”

Rex, “Scott, you can’t see over your belly to tie your shoes laces. Oh, let’s see. The original case that got me to Maui turned out to be a smuggling, murder spree being carried out by the Yakuza, a Japanese crime organization. Even Maui’s sheriff had been corrupted. That one got kinda hairy. Following that case, Joe Tweedy was elected the new sheriff, and I became the director of the new Sara’s Garden. But the Yakuza apparently decided they weren’t done with us. They came back four-months later with an even more sinister plan. They returned to Maui with a sophisticated whaling fleet. Their intentions were to kill all those who’d foiled their previous operation, and then to slaughter the humpback whales that mate and give birth in Maui waters. That case was hairier still, since it not only involved saving the whales, but we also had to rescue innocent victims that’d been kidnapped by the Yakuza. The other cases have been fairly routine stuff. Oh, there was a case where an insane Hawaiian family had decided they’d had enough of the overdevelopment on the islands and the loss of the Hawaiian culture. They were killing tourists, trying to make the murders look like shark attacks, and blowing up hotel developments in an attempt to discourage tourism. That one got a little too close. The family had kidnapped my wife and our three boys before finally killing each other off. If it hadn’t been for the infighting between the killers, I would have lost my entire family. It was at that point that Sheriff Tweedy and Jesse, my wife, teamed up and made me agree to no more personal involvement in cases that might get me, or them, killed.”

Crier: “But you said there were other cases, so I take it you haven’t kept your promise.”

Rex: “Oh, stuff it, Scott. Now you’re questioning my word? Maui isn’t Detroit. Murder isn’t a Polynesian sport. Hawaiians are generally a very friendly and peace-loving people. They don’t go around committing murder. So my consulting in murder cases has been very limited recently—mostly just reviewing case files for clues that might help the county detectives. Most of my work involves running Sara’s Garden, caring for the abused women and children, and persuading abusive husbands and fathers from inflicting more pain on their spouses and kids.”

Crier: “Like I said before, you’re a very passionate and committed man. What’s going to happen when another big case turns up that demands your attention? Are you going to be able to turn your back on more innocent victims?”

Rex: “Who’s to say? I can’t foresee the future, and I don’t worry about things beyond my control. I can say that I won’t get involved in another case that endangers my family. I have confidence in Sheriff Tweedy and his detectives to handle anything that comes up.”

Crier: “Rex, trouble has followed you ever since we were kids. If this interview has proven anything to me, it’s that trouble will always surround you—your personality exudes it. Surely you realize this. What’re you going to do when someone threatens those close to you again?”

Rex: “I think this interview is over, Scotty me boy. If you want my advice, I’d get out of this job and take some risks of your own. Leave this tiny town behind. You’re not doing any good here by spreading idle gossip. Quit hiding behind your evil judgments of others, and see what the real world is like. Do some charity work for those less fortunate than yourself. Do something, but get your fat ass out of your comfort zone and make a worthy contribution to someone else.”

Crier: “Well, I don’t need your advice, and some people think I make a very valuable contribution to this community by keeping them informed.”

Rex: “If you believe that, you’re even dumber and blinder to your surroundings than I thought. Ask yourself this while you’re sitting down to dinner with your mommy this evening. Whose life did you change in a positive way today? If your answer is writing this article, you’re wrong. Spreading erroneous facts and your own questionable judgments under the guise of worthy news helps no one. On the other hand, if I think about our little interaction at all, I can at least hope that I got you thinking in a positive direction.

“I’ll be seeing ya, Scott. Oh, and don’t be printing any of this unless I see it first. If you do, you really will be finding yourself out of your comfort zone—and not in a good way.”